A fatuous body called the Harvard School of Medicine has come up with the finding that - according to my newspaper- eating steak is bad for you - Wow! Not only that but that if we were to cut the amount of red meat we eat to only 42 gm a day (the equivalent of one steak a week) almost one in ten early deaths in men could be prevented. Wow again. Obviously- if these findings had a grain of truth in them -there would be no Argentinians alive over the age of sixty as, for those of you who don't know, Argentinians are the world champions of red meat eaters consuming 55 kg per head per year - yes that is twenty times the amount the pathetic Harvard Medicine School boffins think is good for you- Twenty times! right so -obviously -there can't be many hale and hearty Argentinians around can there? Oddly there can. The average Argentinian male lives to 73.1 years, OK that is less than our 78.4 years but that discrepancy can easily be explained by the difference in GDP per person and the health care spend. /
The same cretinous report also waxes lyrical about the dangers of eating smoked meats like bacon or scoffing processed meats like sausages and salami - so - once again -why are there so many Germans around nicking all the sun loungers when I am on holiday? According to Dr Hu -co author of the report - they should all be dead well before they get to the age when they can afford to go on holiday because- as we all know - those of us anyway who have had the misfortune to taste German culinary efforts - their entire life revolves round eating sausages and processed meats but - actually - the average German males lives 77.82 years, only six months less than your average Brit!
Lastly of course life is not about living for ever but about having fun and enjoying the good things that God has given us. So just remember when next time you wife tries to tempt you with a plate of ghastly spaghetti that the average Italian male only lives six months longer than the average Brit - but if the price of that extra six months is a lifetime of eating pasta pap then frankly - fuck it - eat red meat and have fun.