My new Printer

I have brought a new printer for my computer as the old one - after six years loyal seervice finally gave up the ghost - no big deal - except of course it is a huge deal when it comes to installing it. Forget 'Plug and Play' - when I try to make anything work it is more   'Plug and throw a Tantrum' - I am now on Day 2 of trying to get my top of the range HPofficejet 7500A to actually communicate with my computer and print something  and it obstinately refuses to play - telling me that the USB is not connected when it bloody well is. I have often thought that I ought to be employed by firms like HP to actually write an 'idiots' guide to their machine. The mistake manufacturers all make is employing people who understand the bit of kit too actually write the manual - when the person who ought to be writing it is either me - or if you really want a complete technological illiterate - my wife.

Linkedin

I am a member of this network site but I cannot remember how I joined - I can though remember why, it was in the hope that by doing so some freelance writing work might come my way - fat chance- and to date- nothing. I admit I never look at my site and that frankly I doubt its effectiveness but obviously those in the know know different as how else can you explain how this nonentity of a business can suddenly be worth $10.1 billion on the NYSE just a week after floating- I must be missing something.  So I have resolved to be more proactive on Linkedin to try to discover where the value in the site lies for idle freelance journalists like me.       

Wellington College school library

I can't walk past a bookshop without going in for a browse, but my principal addiction is second hand bookshops.  I can happily spend hours roaming narrow corridors of bookshelves and pulling the odd volume out, here and there, because either the title or the binding hits some inner cord and causes my hand to shoot out and size its spine.  Now I am not against the wonder of the electronic book readers such as Kindle, and if I was a squaddie in Afghanistan I would have one in my Bergen, but I think those, like the headmaster of Wellington College, who think the days of the printed book are numbered and is thus planning throw out 80%  of the books and re order the Library to be 'relevant to the electronic age' or some such rubbish -are wrong.

I just don't think people will 'browse' an electronic library like they browse a normal bookshop or library.  and it is by 'browsing' that you suddenly come across a new author or new subject which catches your imagination or interest and opens up, over time, a whole new world.  For an educational establishment  to cull  it's library so ferociously is not only therefore criminal, it is far worse, it is gross stupidity.

Bye bye Scotland and good riddance

So with an SNP majority North of the Border the prospect of a Scottish referendum being held on leaving the United Kingdom is a real possibility.  Now what Scottish Nationalists don't know is that I am an ardent supporter of there's, what's more I am not alone, in fact, doing a straw pole I have yet to find anyone down here in Devon who isn't a closet SNP supporter.  Why is this? Well, of course, we are bored with whining, whinging Scots bleating on about how hard done by they are, when in reality they sit up there, North of the border, guzzling down English subsidies and doing absolutely sod all work. This is not all their fault of course.  It was the great Dr. Johnson who said; "the noblest prospect which a Scotsman ever sees, is the high road which leads to England."

Not just England actually, in the 19th century every Scotsman with 'get up and go' got up and went, much to benefit of America and the British Empire generally but sadly, the result of all this emigration of the best of the Scots, was to diminish the 'gene pool' and as what was left behind was , by and large, the idle and the feckless, and as any farmer or horse breeder will tell you, if you breed from rubbish you get rubbish, that is the result. 

But seriously if our Dave is serious about campaigning vigorously to 'save the Union' then he has got his tactics all wrong. Most Scots are under the illusion that most English actually want the Union to continue, that we actually enjoy paying far more in taxes than we need in order to subsidise the Scots.  As long as they continue to believe this they will continue to press for Independence.  So if Dave really wants the Union to continue he must vigorously campaign against the Union. In fact he ought to have a referendum in England asking us to vote to abolish it, and once every one understood, that if we got rid of the spongers North of the border we halve the income tax rate, I think the result would not be in question.   


   
         

Reflections on the Royal Wedding

Firstly did you notice how smartly turned out the police where who were lining the route?  - no nauseating Health & Safety high visibility jackets for them - they looked very smart and professional (the exception being the motorcycle escort to the various coaches who - for some reason - kept their bilious yellow coats on). I do think that one of the reasons why the police are now held in such low regard is that they look like a lot of overweight dustmen. When I was a boy the police everywhere were as smart as paint and respected and admired - now they look like slobs and are reviled and despised by nearly everyone - is there a connection I wonder? 

Secondly next time you hear someone question the value of the monarchy get them to ring up the owner of Land Rover/Jaguar. Behind every official car or coach cruised an immaculate Range Rover bursting with security men with all the kit - how much I wonder would an advertising agency have charged Land Rover for that 'product placement?'  And how many extra sales will that free advertising generate - quite a few I suspect. 

Thirdly even I - reluctantly dragged off by my wife to watch the whole affair on a friends giant TV 'with surround sound' - found my cynicism was gradually warn away by the brilliance of the pageantry, the beauty of the bride, the charm of the bridegroom and the  whole 'tout ensemble' of the event - hurray that has put those idiots who yearn for a republic back in their box.

Lastly the Duke of Edinburgh is a most remarkable man. So many people say that they dread getting old - well not if I am as fit and as good looking as the duke is at ninety.   

is Cameron a phony?

According to the Daily Telegraph David Cameron will wear a 'lounge suit' rather than a morning coat to the Royal Wedding- what a plonker?  The problem with Cameron is that he has never had any connection with 'ordinary people' (if there is such a thing).  If only he had been a soldier or done something - anything - which brought him in touch with some of the great unwashed he would have found out something very strange- the one thing people hate more than anything else is a phony - someone pretending to be something they aren't. the other thing he might have discovered is that no one 'respects' you for 'dressing down' in fact - if he could be bothered to ask the Queen for some advice during his weekly audience - she would tell him  that 'ordinary people' don't want their monarch to dress as they do and nore - she would say - do I think they want their Prime Minister to 'dress down' either.   Still Cameron persists in nauseatingly wearing a 'hair shir' in public -so the long suffering Samantha had to slum it recently in a three star hotel in Spain to accord with this new 'image.'   come back Tony Blair - all is forgiven - yes you too were a phony but a least you carried it off with style and not like a wet blancmange.

primogeniture

Politicians can't resist meddling. So 'Our Dave' apparently is considering a change in the law so 'Kate & Wills' first born, if it is a girl, will become Queen rather than her younger brother if she has one.  Now as a beneficiary of primogeniture - the custom by which the eldest male inherits the title/house/estate or, in the case of Prince William and his wife, the crown - you would expect me to support it and I do.  Primogeniture is a simple rule which is understood by everyone and therefore brooks no argument. My eldest son will inherit my house and estate, all my children have known this since they were old enough to understand and they accept it as fair. They know the only reason that there is a house and estate to inherit is because generation after generation has followed this rule and that the only fair rule of inheritance, as far as estates go; is to give as you received.  In other words if you received your estate because you were the eldest son it is not for you to wee wee and have change of heart and 'try to be fair' by dividing your inheritance or, just as bad,  deciding  that one of the other siblings is 'more suited' to inheriting the estate.

According to a fatuous survey in Country Life magazine (can't be much good if they didn't ask my opinion) some 43% of landowners now feel 'primogeniture to be either less important or not important at all, preferring ability, fairness and equality.'  Actually all that proves is that 43% of landowners are pretty mentally retarded, something I suppose many people suspected anyway. There is nothing 'fair' in cutting out your eldest son (unless of course he is entirely useless and degenerate) if you yourself inherited solely because you were the eldest.  As for 'equality' pass the sick bag.  As for the offspring of Prince William and Katherine why change a rule which has, on the whole, worked well for a thousand years?  No doubt 'Our Dave' assumes that if they have a daughter she will turn into a clone of the Princess Royal, Princess Anne but think about it, what if she turned out like Princess Beatrice or Eugenie? no better not.