Saturday, 14 March 2020

Coronavirus compared with Foot & Mouth



This time some nineteen years ago in 2001 we, in the south west of England, were in the grip of a deadly virus. We, anyway in much of rural Devon, where in 'lock down.'  The virus was of course Foot & Mouth and the plumes of smoke from piles of burning livestock could be seen everywhere.

Experts predicting 'gloom & doom' dominated the press and airwaves as they confidently predicted that the disease would take many months to be bought under control and may, quite likely, still be with us when next winter came around. Fortunately they were, of course, all wrong.

So I reckon that this Coronavirus will, as soon as the sun begins to shine, wither away just as Foot & Mouth did.  I also confidently predict that the death toll will be relatively insignificant by that I mean that whilst some, even many perhaps, may die of it many more won't die because of it.  So, for instance, as people travel less so fewer will die in travel accidents ( the second most common cause of death for teenagers).

Meanwhile for those who are brave opportunities abound. Got lots of spare cash? the stock market, or at least certain shares, looks a steal.  Fancy a cheap holiday?  Well- always providing the authorities have not lost their nerve and placed your chosen destination in 'Lock Down' there are amazing deals to be had. We had been planning to take advantage of the total absence of Chinese/Japanese/American  tourist to go to Florence and lap up  Renaissance culture in almost deserted galleries and stay in a five star hotel and eat at great restaurants at bargain basement prices but the Italian government has, un-sportingly, put the kibosh on that.  Still if this goes on it is probable that the said trash tourists will stay away from the UK as well this spring and summer so we might just treat ourselves to a few nights in London, Bath or perhaps York to which I have never been. 

Tuesday, 3 March 2020

Priti Patel & Bullying


So that Big Girls blouse Sir Philip Rutnam - the now totally unlamented ex Permanent Secretary of the Home Office thinks Priti Patel is a bully. How pathetic. I doubt the dripping wet Sir Philip even knows what bullying is. Well I do. I was taught by an expert, one Trained Soldier Evans, he was in charge of some twenty of us who were so unfortunate as to end up in a barrack room under his total control. 

We were the lowest of low. Potential Officer recruit guardsmen. Fair game for every NCO and Warrant Officer at the depot for the eight weeks of the course called The Brigade Squad. Trained Soldier Evans was responsible for us when we were in the barrack room. He was a psycho and enjoyed picking on the weakest member of the squad and by using the cunning arts of bullying get them to chuck it and leave.

Many had already succumbed by the time he got round to concentrating on me.  Most of his techniques were hardly subtle but he did have one nasty trick which was to try to turn the whole squad against me by punishing them for my supposed inadequacies. For example, the one treat we were allowed was a half hour sprint down to the NAAFI (canteen) for a quick pint of beer at around nine o'clock.  I can hear Evans now saying in his Welsh lilt -'No NAAFI break tonight as Fulford's boots are in bad order."

As I said Evans was a master of the art of bullying. Years later I asked a fellow member of the squad if he could let me have a copy of the squad photo as I had lost mine. He not only had it copied but framed as well and sent it to me. 'How much do |I owe you?' I asked.  'Nothing' he replied 'Every night I would say a silent prayer that you wouldn't give in and chuck it because I knew if you did I would be next'  Somehow I don't think Sir Philip would have lasted 24 hours in that barrack room.








Tuesday, 19 November 2019

Prince Andrew and that photograph


Now I am not Prince Andrew's number one fan but I do hate seeing someone accused of something on the basis of very tenuous evidence-and then given a good kicking.  So far the only hard evidence against Prince Andrew is that  photograph of him with his arm round a smiling ,happy looking young girl.

But if being photographed with your arm round the waist of a young girl means you have just enjoyed a night of passion with her then I have been having a hell of a sex life over the last fifteen  odd years.  Yup even a Z list celeb like me gets asked to pose with wives and daughters by fans I meet in the street (fewer and fewer these days I admit as I get older and memories of my brief five minutes of TV fame fade) and, silly man that I am, I normally agree and end up on someones telephone with my arm round their wife/daughter/granddaughters waist.  Not only on the street either, even more damning, in the eyes of the scum press, would be  the number of such photographs which have been taken outside my house after giving them a tour of my house.

What I am saying is I can quite imagine someone saying to Prince Andrew, perhaps the girl herself or a friend/relation even, could we have a picture of you and Virginia together and he, innocently, moves close to the girl and puts his arm round her waist just as I have done time and again and she smiles at the camera and then the shutter clicks. That photograph, in short means absolutely nothing. It is not evidence of anything other than that Prince Andrew once had his photograph taken with her.   

Tuesday, 8 October 2019

Extinction Protests


God Londoners are  wet. Why are they putting up with the ridiculous Extinction protesters blocking their roads and making their life a misery. Ok -fair enough - you pay a police force to enforce the law - and therefor you might expect them to do so - no such luck though with the Metropolitan Police these days.- though in fairness they would probably be acting a bit different if it was a protest against the actions of Parliament by Brexit supporters -then no doubt the truncheons would have been drawn. But if the police wont enforce the law the private citizen can lawfully take it into his/her own hands to enforce the law.  If someone is blocking the road and therefor stopping you carrying out your lawful occupation you have every right to remove them using reasonable force - what is reasonable force? the force required to remove the nuisance.  So come on Londoners wake up and sort these prima donna idiots out.

Saturday, 22 June 2019

The Mansion House Martyr -Mark Field

So there is at least one MP with balls and courage, Step forward Mark Field the Foreign Office Minister who tackled a climate change protester at the Mansion House dinner. As everyone else sat paralysed in their chairs he alone stepped forward and got a grip as a 'protester' moved rapidly towards the top of the table where the big brass sat.  He acted totally correctly.  The protester could easily have been a terrorist with a knife- he was not to know it was just yet another potty woman intent on disrupting the dinner and, actually, even if he did think this,he was still right to stop her and forcibly remover  her from the room.

The reaction from our pathetic Prime |Minister was perhaps predictable- she found the incident 'very concerning'.  As well she might here was a high profile event at which some of the most important people in government and business were present and the security was so pathetic that a group of women climate change protesters could walk in off the street,  go up the stairs and into the dining room with no one making any attempt to stop them.  So here is a tip to anyone thinking about carrying out a terrorist attack in the near future- dress up as a climate change protester and police will open the door for you! Whoever was in charge of the 'joke' security for the banquet should be sacked as should whatever apology for a policeman was supposedly looking after VIP security. But actually -amazingly - Mrs May wasn't 'Very concerned at the lamentable security - no it was that a Member of|Parliament had acted promptly to tackle the situation and -astonishingly - she has asked him to step down while a full enquiry takes place.

You really can't make these people up. The incident was on TV - anyone can see that Mr Filed acted properly what one earth is an 'enquiry' going to show? But the equally pathetic Conservative Party Chairman - an nonentity called Brandon Lewis also has called for a full internal enquiry saying -"it is very hard not be astonished by what you've seen" To cap it all Jeremy Hunt refused to say whether he thought MrField should be sacked -yes sacked - for doing the right thing !



Tuesday, 11 June 2019

Michael Gove and cocaine


Should the fact that  Michael Gove snorted cocaine twenty odd years ago disbar him from being Prime Minister or holding any office in government at all?  Well if it does we are going to find it mighty difficult to find a suitable Prime Minister in years to come because I suspect virtually all the current crop of 'yuff' have had a snort at some time or other.

I admit my knowledge of cocaine is very limited. I was though at a dinner party years ago when it was passed round but, before it came to me, a friend who was also a novice at this peculiar Urban habit, made a complete hash of his attempt to snort it and sneezed violently instead -scattering  a hundred quids worth of powder to the four winds.

The question though surely is not just should Michael Gove be disbarred - but should high office only be open to 'Goody Goodies?  Frankly having just had as Prime Minister an arch 'Goody Goody' who proved her self to be probably the most useless and incompetent holder of that office in recent history, and that against stiff opposition, I am not in favour of 'Goodness' being a primary qualification.


Saturday, 1 June 2019

Baked Beans & Green house gasses


I wonder if there is someone out there who could help me.  Looking at pictures of vegan demonstrators outside a butchers shop, purporting to be protesting about the amount of greenhouse gases produced by the UK cattle herd I did wonder how much greenhouse gas is produced in the UK by those who eat baked beans?  I mean we eat 540 million cans of the stuff a year and we all know what the result of eating baked beans is don't we?

Apart though from the gas we emit through farting after eating them there must also be considerable 'green house' gas caused by growing them, processing them and transporting them. If there is someone with a scientific bent of mind who reads this could they please come up with a figure -I -and the entire rural and meat eating community would be eternally grateful. Because the time has come to stop sitting down and allowing the Vegans and other so called 'activists' to dictate the news with their extreme agendas - we need to fight back.